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hello readers, as promised a bit more to explain my absence…

1- the holidays make me sad since my mom passed away

2- my daughter dances ballet and is involved in the annual Nutcracker production at a local theatre (read, big deal and very time consuming)

3- job interviews, resumes, looking for projects

so as i write to you on this Friday morning my daughter is onstage…all those weeks of rehearsals and fittings have paid off. six performances (thursday – sunday) then we start prepping for the next show!

in between i’ve been revamping my resume, applying for jobs and going on interviews. i think i managed 4 interviews in 6 business days (friday – friday). every interview went well. i managed to get a second interview in the same day in one instance. in fact, it was while i was sitting in the waiting area while the second interviewer was preparing to see me that i had my A-ha moment.

i sat there feeling uneasy. uncomfortable in my skin. queasy. someone from my old job walked through the lobby and greeted me. she offered to “put in a good word” for me. she is not the person you want to put in a good word for you. generally, she has a poor attitude and a questionable work ethic. i simply smiled. as she walked away i took a deep breath and thought about what i was doing.

in life, we are given opportunities. you can call them moments of clarity, flashes of reason, or as Oprah labeled them, an A-Ha moment. these are quiet seconds in the midst of chaos or the din of our daily lives. they go by so quickly we can easily miss them. but as i closed my eyes and slowly exhaled i was aware of my physical reaction to this interview process. it was not about being nervous, though it could be described as anxious. it was the primal “fight or flight” reaction to “danger.” my body was warning me not to do it again. not to take a job that was not a good fit just because i think i should. the path of least resistance is not always the right path.

i participated in the second interview, then drove home, trying to remain mindful of my experience so i could make my decision with clarity. i compared the three jobs i had interviewed for. the money was similar. one offered much more “freedom.” but each had one “red flag” aspect. those red flags were what woke up the primal instincts. animals “go with their gut.” people still get “gut reactions” but often ignore them, then look back and can often pinpoint the moment they knew something was a bad fit, a bad choice, a bad idea.

three interviews. two job offers. no job. instead i’ve been pushing to get the necessary paperwork done to work on my own. in the midst of this job search whirlwind, a friend called from out of the blue offering office space one day a week. i jumped on it. now i’m pushing to get the paperwork done and go it alone. this friend will be my mentor and refer clients! i would have missed this opportunity if i had taken any of the jobs.

do you go with your gut? have you ignored it in the past and regretted it later?